It takes time to adapt to new routines and navigate the new reality of life at home under lockdown. It is not a surprise that some people are struggling to maintain any level of normalcy while cooking and cleaning around the clock as well as working and homeschooling children. Factor in the added stress and anxiety of facing potential unemployment and financial strain and the relationship with our partner takes the very back seat.

While we barely seem to have enough time for ourselves, how on earth do we find time to keep our relationship intact?

Prioritize your relationship

It has been a running joke that many marriages won’t make it post-COVID-19 as people are simply not used to spending so much time together. Most couples spend much of their day apart as typically one or both work outside the home. These days everyone is together 24/7. Keeping marriages and partnerships healthy is a real concern and the most important thing we can do right now is to carve out some time for the people important to us.

Plan a Date Night

One night over dinner my husband and I were chatting about the fact that we hadn’t had a date night in nearly six weeks. The days had quickly been flowing into one another, and half the time we didn’t know what day of the week it was. The very next day, our 12-year-old hatched a plan. She called it Parents’ Day, and roped in her 14-year-old brother (begrudgingly) to assist her.

We were served breakfast in bed, encouraged to watch the morning news together, and sent out for a walk; together.

Lunch was made for us. Shortly before dinner we were sent to our room to “change into something fancy” and returned to find a hostess waiting to greet us. A fancy table was set with cloth napkins, candles, and flowers along with a Reserved sign placed upon it.

Everything is better with wine

Our son selected a bottle of wine for us from the wine rack and my husband taught him how to open it. The kids put on some jazz music to set the mood and while the wine was being poured by the 14-year-old, the 12-year-old served us our dinner. There was even a homemade chocolate cake (there was a tiny bit of assistance here)! This was the first dinner in six weeks where we were all not sitting together for meal, and as much as we missed their company, it was a treat. It truly felt like we were at a restaurant and it allowed my husband and I the opportunity to reconnect and talk about the topics on our mind.

The best part? The kids even cleaned up the kitchen!

I realize many of us have kids either too young or too teen-age-ish to pull off a romantic dinner for two, but there are so many other ways to support a relationship during these trying times. A good place to start is by keeping the kids on a bedtime routine like the way it was pre-COVID-19. Getting the kids to bed at a decent hour means more together time for you and your partner after a long lock-down day. Watch a movie or start a TV series together. Read a book together in bed. Check in with each other throughout the day. Communicate. Ask each other what you can do to help them.

Get the Kids on Board

Find some time either daily or weekly to stay connected. Get your kids on board if possible. Keep in mind that no one is perfect, but there is no better time than now to pull together and draw on the unique strengths of your relationship.

We are stronger together, and with just a little focused effort, our long-term relationships will remain intact and maybe even more robust than ever post-COVID-19.